marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize