I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
