$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
