I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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