i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
