she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize