i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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