Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
