my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize