Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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