addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
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