is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
