I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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