so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
