Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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