so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
