Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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