I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
