...so i touched it.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
