Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
