After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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