we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize