If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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