Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
