YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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