i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
