Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
