This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize