"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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