i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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