xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
