Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
