are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
