I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
