do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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