I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
