He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
