yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
