I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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