I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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