in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
