Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(315): View more from New York

Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?

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(212): View more from New York

They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.

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(909): View more from California

why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?

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(434): View more from Virginia

NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.

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(443): View more from Maryland

I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.

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(705): View more from Ontario

They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride

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(919): View more from North Carolina

His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick

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