if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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