I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
