Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
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She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night