I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
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No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
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My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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