I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
