i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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