Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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