im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
