the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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